This spoke to me today. I must admit i’m still battling with some self esteem issues. I truly don’t find myself attractive at all. I really wish I could get a nose job. But I’m working on myself slowly but surely!
There were so many things I was taught to hate about myself. 1. Hated my nose; was told t it was too big and bulbous. 2. Hated my bottom lip; thought it had too many creases. 3. Hated my eyebrows; was told they were thin and sad. 4. Hated my height; everyone was taller than me. 5. Hated my knees; was told they were too dark. 6. Hated my complexion; was told I was the color of pee. 7. Hated my feet; was told my toe-nails were too dark. 8. Hated my butt; was teased it was high and girly. 9. Hated my heritage; was told I wasn’t “Black Enough” or I wasn’t “White enough” and I didn’t speak-a-the-spanish to blend in with the Puerto Ricans kids (LOL). Those critiques were sprayed on me like graffiti, covering who I really was – an unsightly tag and a stifling weight left for me to carry.
It took years to shed those scars and be able to appreciate ME – and I still find areas I missed. I had to be chiseled, sandblasted, and stripped of the self-hate – much of it deeply internalized. There is nothing more important to me than my PEACE and that starts with loving MYSELF first. You have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and smile BIG because ultimately that’s the one face you should be waking up to please. How you view your scars determines how you interact with others; shame, jealousy, envy, fearfulness, being backstabbing, distrusting, controlling, conceited, needy, shy, self-sacrificing, and self-destructive, are all reflections of the defamation of the self in the mirror – no matter how pretty or handsome you appear to others.
Find your peace beyond the looking glass. Break it!
from Quincy Gossfield (The DL Chronicles)