I always seem to meet guys who are just so jaded from the dating experience they got walls as big as the Great Wall in China. If not that, then I tend to meet guys who are just out of a bad relationship and need time to recover! And if its not that, I meet a great brother but he doesn’t live in my city. 😦 Or i meet a cool brother but he is only into white boys! (Thats a blog I’ll hit on soon).
Yet I am still amazed how some brothers can meet quality brothers yet fuck up the relationships. I’m just at a loss for words with that. LOL With so many brothers struggling with their sexuality, whom drown out their problems in drugs, alcohol and just outright whoring, its a breath of fresh air to meet a brother who is comfortable with their sexuality, educated, working hard, law abiding, and spiritual! Then if he is a freak, its icing on the cake! LOL
I’m just so tired of meeting guys and they tell me how real cool and friendly i am, they love my vibe, etc. yet they don’t want to date me. I hear every excuse “I’m just too busy with other things”, “I just got out of a relationship and i need time to heal”, and the list goes on and on.
I am not saying that they aren’t speaking the truth but I honestly feel most are lying saying that shit because they truly don’t want to say what’s really on their mind about me. They don’t want to date me cuz i’m not their type (i.e I’m ugly) or not super thuggish or not in the “tax bracket” they desire or what the real reason is they can’t deal with me being honest with my HIV status.
I don’t know…I’m just becoming totally frustrated and literally at a point of throwing in the towel and truly thinking I’ll be single for the rest of my life. I don’t want to say it but I mean over the last few years, the way brothers are acting here in the ATL its like what else is there?
How I have longed for the day when a brother tells me “Rodney, I love you” …35 going on 36 years and still haven’t heard that from a brother who is interested in me!
Makes me wonder why I am still living!